As I sit here looking across the Penryn estuary watching the ripples of water kiss the muddy banks in rhythmic soundwaves, the sense of ‘home’ feels distinct. Water has become a big theme in my life since moving to Cornwall a decade ago and looking at this scene with all of the ease and familiarity it evokes, it is almost hard for me to believe I have been away at all.
The last 6 months have been full of growth and learning for me. From the lush tropics of Bali where I scooted around rainforests with locals, to the spiritual lands of Northern India and Nepal where I was fortunate enough to trace the footsteps of the Buddha, meditating in temples and caves along the way, my journey has been rich and infused with personal insights. In an attempt to crystallise some of these learnings, here are 6 nuggets that I hope will inspire a sense of possibility and expansion in you too.
1) We can only be here, now (and we take ourselves with us everywhere we go)
It doesn’t matter whether we’re in an office in London or on a beach in Bali, our minds (and problems) come with us everywhere we go. Imagining that we will be happier 'over there' is the ultimate trick of the mind and is what most advertising is predicated on. In the words of my teacher, mind matters most and the health of our minds will colour every experience we have, no matter how exotic our external environment. Travelling might give us a new lens with which to view our lives but it won't shield us from challenge.
I was reminded of this on a beach in Bali where one day, in quick succession, I cut my leg on some dead coral in the shallows, got nibbled by sea lice (who even knew that was a thing?) and nearly passed out from the insane humidity levels. Lesson? There is no escaping the human experience! It is how we respond that matters and that all starts with the mind.
2) Life is in a constant state of flux and uncertainty is the only thing we can rely on - Let go, let go, let go
There is nothing like travelling to put you in touch with the truth of transience. During my trip I slept in 35 different beds, meditated in over 100 places and ate an unknown but extensive number of curries in India and Nepal! And that is just the obvious changes. Our bodies and minds are in a constant state of flux every moment of every day and the more attuned we are to this fact, the less we suffer.
Loosening our grip on the way we think things should be is where true freedom lies because the nature of life is uncertain. When we actively step into the unknown (ie the present moment) without resistance we are dialling into LIFE. Not life as we think it is but life as it actually is, which is a continually evolving, changing, dynamic process. We are being called to let go of the illusion of control at every moment (especially when we miss flights 🙈)
3) There is no such thing as a right decision
This one was a bit of a revelation to me. It’s something I’ve always known on an intellectual level but it felt good to let it permeate as a truth.
Travelling presents you with a constant series of choices: where to eat, what to eat (or not eat in the case of India!), where to stay, where to visit... and I noticed I would sometimes get overwhelmed with the infinite permeatations of these choices and this (fictitious) notion of the "right" decision. Until one day a friend stopped me in my tracks. He said “There is no such thing as a right decision. We take a decision and then make it right”. As I let these words in, I began to soften into the present moment and trust that life was holding me and not the other way round. He reminded me that it doesn’t matter what choice we make because we have the power to frame life how we want to, regardless of where we are or what we're doing and we are always resourced to respond and pivot accordingly.
4) Kindness makes the world go round (and time spent helping others is one of the most fulfilling things we can do)
People are inherently good. People are inherently kind. Whether this is a belief or a fact, I have many, many examples that prove the latter. Here is one example of the many:
One day, with dusk fast approaching, I arrived on a small Indonesian island only to find out most of the accommodation on the island was booked up. Guest house after guest house told me so and the dusty paths between houses seemed to be getting longer and more remote as I continued my search. I was losing the will until I came across a guest house owner who didn’t have a room but kindly took it upon himself to spend the next hour and a half with me walking around the island in search of one, all the while calling his friends to see if someone could help too. Thanks to him I found a room - one of his friends' - just as the sun was setting. This kind and wonderful human, who I didn’t know and who owed me nothing, helped me in my time of need and wanted nothing in return.
Time spent volunteering at the Vipassana centre at the beginning of the year reinforced this insight for me too; that one of the most fulfilling things we can do is help other people without expecting anything in return. There is no joy like the joy that springs from that place.
5) People make a place
A friend recently joked that I should write a book with this title. Perhaps because every time someone has asked me about various places I’ve visited I’ve almost always referenced the people rather than the place. The connections we make on our journey – the journey of life as much as the literal journeys we take within it – are everything. Aside from the obvious joys that arise from meeting interesting people, we can learn so much about ourselves through our relationships with others. People can illuminate facets of our being in profound and surprising ways. From devoted Buddhist nuns to crazy motorbike drivers, I was lucky enough to encounter a whole array of wonderful human beings on my trip who taught me so much about myself (including the fact that fast motorbike rides without a helmet = beyond my comfort zone) and opened me back up to the beauty of spontaneous connection.
6) Meditation is life, life is meditation
In the words of Joseph Goldstein "nothing falls outside of practice" and this trip really consolidated this reality for me. Having the opportunity to sit in sacred places on my pilgrimage (the Buddha’s kuti - or ruins of it - in Sarnath was one of my favourites) and at various Dhamma centres along my journey gave me a renewed sense of gratitude for the Buddha’s teachings and the profundity of them. And it seems like the deeper my practice goes, the more these perceived walls of ‘formal practice’ and ‘life off the cushion’ are dissolving.
Of course, sitting on our meditation cushions is an essential part of the journey, a necessary training ground and a chance to strengthen our ‘mental muscles’, cultivating awareness, equanimity and compassion in the face of all of the changing sensations and mental states we encounter (this company is testament to how much I believe in the power of meditation!) But I am coming to see the value of the 'in between' bits too.
The way we eat, the way we talk to people, the way we respond when we miss our flight – this is where the rubber really hits the road and allows us to see how (or whether) we are actually embodying the practice. Do we still react when things don’t go our way or do we just breathe and smile, knowing that this moment will pass like every other moment of our lives?
When we see the practice working to inspire positive change outwardly as well as inwardly then we know we’re on the right path.
Leave a comment