As I prepare to embark on a month of service for a 30-Day Vipassana Meditation Course in October, I’ve been reflecting on how meditation has transformed my life since I first began practicing over a decade ago.
Before my first 10-day silent Vipassana course in 2014, I had never meditated. Yet that experience became a turning point; a profound initiation that would alter the course of my life.
Recently, I came across an account I wrote just after completing that first retreat. Re-reading it was both fascinating and humbling, reminding me of the immense struggle as well as the extraordinary revelations that surfaced during those ten days.
That first course remains one of the most moving and transformative experiences of my life (and the hardest!) and every course I have sat or served since has continued to bring gifts - insights and understandings that shape how I move through the world and respond to life, reminding me of the power of this beautiful practice.
An Excerpt from "My First Course"
“Our first 4am wake-up gong was nowhere near as painful as I’d anticipated. The tone was warm and soothing which helped temper aversions of rising at such an ungodly hour. With half an hour to spare before the first meditation session started, there was just about time to have a shower which became an essential part of my wake-up process. Walking out into the morning chill with wet hair gave me one final boost before I walked to the hall to start meditating.
For me, the 4.30am meditation sessions were usually the hardest although I did take real pleasure in hearing the dawn chorus begin about an hour in to the session. The longest of the day at 2 hours, these early morning sessions required the most stamina - and lethargy often hampered my ability to concentrate. It felt like the middle of the night and being made to sit in a dark, quiet room with my eyes closed trying to observe something as specific and subtle as my breath felt torturous. Drifting aimlessly, my mind would slip in and out of dream-like trances where surreal images morphed and danced of their own accord until my awareness interjected and brought me back to my breath.
This whole process felt mildly schizophrenic, like I embodied an unruly child and disciplinary mother at the same time witnessing the power struggle playing out between them. Getting easily distracted, Goenka (our teacher) explained, was quite normal especially in these early stages and his advice was simple: “When you realise your mind has wandered, think ‘Oh my mind has wandered’ and bring it back smilingly”. The key, it seemed, was not to berate yourself when you got distracted but rather accept the reality and try again.”
How Meditation Continues to Shape My Life
One of the most common questions I’m asked is: “How does meditation actually help you in daily life?”
The answer to this question feels multilayered because the practice has touched every part of my being and has unquestionably redirected the course of my life. But there are certain tangible changes I’ve witnessed over the years - by-products of deep introspection and the gradual purification of the mind. These include:
- Greater patience and tolerance for myself and others
- A more compassionate and empathetic approach to people and life
- Improved focus and mental clarity
- Less anxiety and agitation
- Less reactivity, especially to uncomfortable situations and bodily pain
A Commitment to Stillness
Since that first Vipassana course, meditation has been the foundation of my days. I sit each morning and evening, like bookends to daily life. These sits help me process, ground and re-centre, bringing me back to myself again and again. Some days are more difficult than others - the five hindrances described by the Buddha often surface: aversion, craving, doubt, agitation, and tiredness - but this too is part of the practice and it is through these difficult days that most progress is often made.
By placing meditation at the centre of my life in this way, I am making a commitment. A commitment not only to my own well-being but also to the wider world and to everyone I encounter. At times, I question whether I can justify taking long stretches of time away to sit and serve meditation courses - after all, it runs counter to the social narrative of constant productivity - but every time I return I am reminded of the immense value of this work and the collective gift we offer the world when we cultivate stillness and help others to do the same.
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