After a busy summer (detailed in my previous post about overwhelm – anyone else?) I am preparing to go on retreat for 10 days. The transition from August into September has always felt significant to me and not just because my birthday lands in that portal. It is a cooling-off period, energetically as well as atmospherically. For introverts or those who are sensitive to stimulus, it can feel like a true relief when this turn of the seasons from summer to autumn begins.
Moving from yang (dynamic, active energy) to yin (gentle, inward energy), nature encourages us towards more rest, providing the conditions to support this in the form of shorter days, cooler weather and fewer opportunities to be outdoors – well, at least comfortably (though I do love a wild, wintery walk).
But even with these prompts from Mother Nature to slow down, taking time for ourselves can sometimes feel so difficult. When we have people, work and all sorts of responsibilities competing for our attention year-round, irrespective of the seasons, how can we justify taking time out? Isn’t that selfish?
This is a question - and practice - I’ve been working with for my whole life but particularly over the last decade since I started my meditation journey. I sat my first retreat in 2014 on a ‘let’s just see’ basis, without any expectation of what might come of it or any idea of how much it would impact my entire life and trajectory. My life has transformed in so many positive ways because of the meditation practice itself but I also believe that a lot of the shifts have come as a result of the intentional practice of carving time out of my days/weeks/months/years in service of it. And just rest in general.
The Sati ethos is ‘creating space for body and mind’ and what I’ve come to see is that we really do need to create that time. As much as it would be lovely if life gave us a break every now and then and space just naturally occurred to rest and recuperate (which sometimes it does), more often than not we have to open up that space ourselves intentionally; to carve out little windows of opportunity for ourselves. A little gift we offer ourselves to honour the fact that we’re complex humans, with all sorts of feelings and needs that are constantly shifting and a whole inner ecosystem that needs our attention from time to time. It’s important to tend to that other dimension of our being, beyond the part of us that is always doing, managing and getting things done.
What I’ve also come to see is that when we create space, it’s often less of a revelation that we experience and more of a gentle acknowledgement of what we already knew deep down. Some things just need some room to breathe and be felt with our full attention, rather than while we’re making lunch and simultaneously hanging out the washing. Time and space allows us to start noticing what we’ve been thinking, feeling and needing all along, underneath all the noise.
If you also identify as a sensitive person (which I actually feel we all are; it’s just a question of whether you have built that plumb line to your inner world), you’ll know that solitude is essential to help us recharge. Time alone when our attention is not being demanded, time when we are not being perceived, time when we can feel and hear the soft whispers of our inner world and heart – these times need to be created and cultivated. This time alone isn't the same as loneliness; it is deeply nourishing and good for us. It is not experienced as a lack, but as a rich and rewarding part of life that allows us to replenish our energy and vitality so that we can be of service in the world, either in small or big ways.
And I see this as a practice, not a reward. Part of that practice is recognising the value of the time we’re giving ourselves. Because when we’re busy, rest can so easily feel like the least important thing on the list or something we’ll get around to when everything else is done. But if we actually weigh it up – the value of taking even a little bit of time to rest and reconnect with ourselves against the cost of continually pushing through without it – the benefits are significant. A bit of space can change how we feel and how we respond to the things and people we care about. When we see it in those terms, rest is purely positive.
And we don't need to wait until we're falling apart before we take time for ourselves. (I feel like I need to make a written note of this for myself 😂 ) It goes without saying that it is far better to carve that time out before we reach our limit. If we can catch things before they escalate and put the brakes on little and often, we do ourselves a big favour.
I don't know what I'll come back with from my retreat but I do know that I need the space right now. The pendulum is ready to swing from busy-in-the-outside-world to busy-in-the-inside-world. I need to connect those dots again and softly feel back into my being to gain some clarity and clear the way for fresh energy and creativity to emerge.
We are a part of nature after all and we have to let the leaves fall and the compost do its thing in order to nourish new life, when the time is ripe.
I know that the real practice usually begins when I come home from retreat. Integrating the learning and letting that feeling of spaciousness infuse ordinary life, even when it's chaotic, is where the real gifts lie.
But for now, it's time to go in.
How can you carve some space out for yourself this autumn?
Perhaps it’s starting simple: a walk without your phone, an evening with nothing planned or saying no to something when your body is asking for more space. We don’t always need to go on a 10-day retreat to create space for ourselves (although I am looking forward to that!) - maybe we just need to optimise those little pockets of possibility throughout our day, to invite more balance and ease into our lives.
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